Fan foreigners IELTS 9 points and comment

Following this test twice in 2004, the content more difficult to write, many candidates are not the idea of ​​the content, so I asked my American friend IELTS writing routines in accordance with articles written essay, which we can learn about language and content.

Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves the citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Discuss both views and use your own experience and evidence.

Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Police having guns however is an issue secondary to criminals having guns. (45words)

Structural analysis: 2 +1, the last sentence as the topic sentence, clearly expressed their views. However, the former two is a serious problem, thus reproducing the subject. (This may be a foreigner and I did not communicate well, all the example listed in his written have appeared in a similar situation, we do not learn!!!)

Because criminals usually have access to guns, police officers need them in order to control crime. If police in the UK are able to go without guns and not have crime getting completely out of control then they have already set a fine example that other countries should follow. The fact that they are able to do this is an indication of their ability to control the flow of guns to the general populace and this makes citizens safer than anything else. To a civilian, taking guns away from criminals is more important than giving them to police. (98words)

For places that are not able to, or are unwilling to control this availability of guns to criminals, police have no choice. Countries with weak or ineffective gun laws, or countries bordering such countries, like Mexico which has strong gun laws, but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled over the border from the US, need a police force that is not only armed, but is armed better than the criminals. This ‘domestic arms race’ is the fate of any country that does not realize that civilians have no need of being armed and should have no access to weapons whatsoever. (103words)

The root of the problem is embarrassingly corrupt governments and ineffective half-measures taken to control the circulation of guns, which allows criminals to easily come into possession of guns. Nations around the world should hope to someday reach the point where their police force can afford not to carry guns and still be effective. (54words)